I don't think brook has ever known best
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
