My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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