just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
