she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
