Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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