iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
