Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
