He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
