I am puke
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Even my vagina gasped.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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