Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
