Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize