i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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