I hate all girls vehemently.
do herpes really smell.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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