I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
did i walk over a car last night?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
