is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I think your dad took our porno
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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