at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
