Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
