he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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