you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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