just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
