is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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