Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
