Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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