HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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