South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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