the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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