we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
