ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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