Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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