Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
