We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
