I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
