Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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