On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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