If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
