i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
