TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
