I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
