Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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