two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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