All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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