The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Gay?
German.
Pity.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
