so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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