the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
