Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
