Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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