my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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