census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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