I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
