The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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