Me. At least after what I've been through.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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