yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
