Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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