im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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