I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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