as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize