And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
