We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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