she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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