May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
