Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize