there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
