Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
